goodbyes.hellos.deep.borders

It was Palma's last night and it was tough to see him go. You get attached to the hearts and lives you invest in so much. It was hard, he liked the word of God being ministered to him. I know because he told me so. Soft words for a tough gangster with an anger problem, how I praise God for the gentle spirit this man has received. But once in the free world would he be pulled from it? Can't worry about tomorrow, each days has enough worries of it's own. I just pray he will hunger for a meeting place with Jesus. Be that on his knees, in a park, at a church, please Palma, just meet with Jesus! It's a very scary time for these. As a a spiritual parent, I cry as I let them go. But I know that God has planted much of his word into his life. Palma grabbed my hands and asked me to pray one more time, so I did. As I looked up to my right was another young man by the same first name as Palma, with a spark of hope in his eyes. He asked me, "Ma'am will you pray for me too?", we bowed our heads and God took over and gave me a prayer for this young man. It was good, God threw his arms around this young man and welcomed him home, he just gave me a prayer of prescence and love unconditional - he told this young man that he could be certain he was right there with him as certain as he was that he knew the very number of the hairs on his head. And as he raised his head up and I looked into his eyes they were filled with tears, streaming down his face. It is rare to see this much emotion in front of thier peers,
I must admit my selfish heart was so comforted to know that I can go on because when I say goodbye to one I love so deeply I go on to the next because God has faithfully shown me my love is deep because his is deep and yes I can go on because it is what I do - his love brings hope and life to so many..including me!
I was in Mexico this weekend and so many of the guys we work with have a daddy somewhere in that country that they never see - all I could really think about and pray for is that they would come to know a Father not from another country who can't cross the border but one who is here - not one who can't be embraced or touched, but one who is present, here is the one who will never leave them, one who is not across the border, He is thier Hero who longs to save them.

encouraged

Reid is practicing encouragment... if you feel like you can't go on anymore remember breathe and swim. soon enough someone will come and clean your tank.

moving

last fall I met a young man named Palma, a gang member. It was an easy connection, right away his story unfolded, and my heart began to break. No matter how many young men I meet, how many times I go, it's like the first time I have been. His sister died of brain cancer while he was locked up. It had only been about a month. He was not permitted to attend the funeral. Palma grew up going to church. His whole family did, in fact, his sister believed she would be healed. So when I met him, he shared that God had let them all down. He was angry at God and wouldn't even take a few scriptures - he wouldn't open a Bible himself. I told him that God had an answer to his questions about his sister. I told Palma that God himself wanted to speak personally with him! Something shifted as soon as I told him that, he said he would think about that. As we met the Holy Spirit gave wonderful counsel for Palma and God revealed himself in amazing ways to this young man. Then I left. I wondered, how would he do? He seemed to have stopped receiving, he became angry and you could see the battle within as you looked at this young man. I heard from staff that he wasn't really willing to have any counsel in my abscence. I waited to see what would happen when I got back and last week he showed up. the anger had lifted and he had done business with God. He moved into a place of peace with his sister's passing and he needed to see God's hand once again. So as he prayed for God to reveal himself, he did. God showed up and Palma got it. He may not understand every detail about his sister's disease and the details of her death, but he has trust that God knew what was best. Last fall, I pushed for him to leave his gang and he declared he would not. I checked in with him on Friday - he did. It is finished - this battle.