goodbyes.hellos.deep.borders

It was Palma's last night and it was tough to see him go. You get attached to the hearts and lives you invest in so much. It was hard, he liked the word of God being ministered to him. I know because he told me so. Soft words for a tough gangster with an anger problem, how I praise God for the gentle spirit this man has received. But once in the free world would he be pulled from it? Can't worry about tomorrow, each days has enough worries of it's own. I just pray he will hunger for a meeting place with Jesus. Be that on his knees, in a park, at a church, please Palma, just meet with Jesus! It's a very scary time for these. As a a spiritual parent, I cry as I let them go. But I know that God has planted much of his word into his life. Palma grabbed my hands and asked me to pray one more time, so I did. As I looked up to my right was another young man by the same first name as Palma, with a spark of hope in his eyes. He asked me, "Ma'am will you pray for me too?", we bowed our heads and God took over and gave me a prayer for this young man. It was good, God threw his arms around this young man and welcomed him home, he just gave me a prayer of prescence and love unconditional - he told this young man that he could be certain he was right there with him as certain as he was that he knew the very number of the hairs on his head. And as he raised his head up and I looked into his eyes they were filled with tears, streaming down his face. It is rare to see this much emotion in front of thier peers,
I must admit my selfish heart was so comforted to know that I can go on because when I say goodbye to one I love so deeply I go on to the next because God has faithfully shown me my love is deep because his is deep and yes I can go on because it is what I do - his love brings hope and life to so many..including me!
I was in Mexico this weekend and so many of the guys we work with have a daddy somewhere in that country that they never see - all I could really think about and pray for is that they would come to know a Father not from another country who can't cross the border but one who is here - not one who can't be embraced or touched, but one who is present, here is the one who will never leave them, one who is not across the border, He is thier Hero who longs to save them.

encouraged

Reid is practicing encouragment... if you feel like you can't go on anymore remember breathe and swim. soon enough someone will come and clean your tank.

moving

last fall I met a young man named Palma, a gang member. It was an easy connection, right away his story unfolded, and my heart began to break. No matter how many young men I meet, how many times I go, it's like the first time I have been. His sister died of brain cancer while he was locked up. It had only been about a month. He was not permitted to attend the funeral. Palma grew up going to church. His whole family did, in fact, his sister believed she would be healed. So when I met him, he shared that God had let them all down. He was angry at God and wouldn't even take a few scriptures - he wouldn't open a Bible himself. I told him that God had an answer to his questions about his sister. I told Palma that God himself wanted to speak personally with him! Something shifted as soon as I told him that, he said he would think about that. As we met the Holy Spirit gave wonderful counsel for Palma and God revealed himself in amazing ways to this young man. Then I left. I wondered, how would he do? He seemed to have stopped receiving, he became angry and you could see the battle within as you looked at this young man. I heard from staff that he wasn't really willing to have any counsel in my abscence. I waited to see what would happen when I got back and last week he showed up. the anger had lifted and he had done business with God. He moved into a place of peace with his sister's passing and he needed to see God's hand once again. So as he prayed for God to reveal himself, he did. God showed up and Palma got it. He may not understand every detail about his sister's disease and the details of her death, but he has trust that God knew what was best. Last fall, I pushed for him to leave his gang and he declared he would not. I checked in with him on Friday - he did. It is finished - this battle.

I just flew back home from Virginia on Friday. I was gone for 7 weeks. I missed being home. I missed my bed. I missed my coffee maker (it's European, you know) I missed my car. I missed my pillow. You get it by now, I just missed my space that I call home. But now that I am here, I miss my litte girl Krysta and my grandbaby Emily. What a mess I am. So sad. :(

A hip harness

I have had some of you ask what Emily's little harness looks like. So I asked her and she said she didn't mind taking a cute little picture so you could all see how it fits...(at least she seemed agreeable) it's main purpose is to keep her legs pointed at a 90 degree angle outward. It's funny when you take it off for a bath she spends about 5 minutes stretching her legs over and over. Very cute. She gets it off in a few more weeks and has a very good attitude as you can see!

A time to die

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 says " There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die," For Joey Sandoval his time was December 14th. As the news article read, "15-year old shot and killed. A gang related murder occurred in broad daylight".
Joey is pictured here on the far right, he was only 15. This pic was taken just a month before at the YWAM base. For the past year urban staff had been reaching out to Joey, he was a tough. He had been through alot, his life story heartbreaking. But God was at work in Joey's life. There was a reason for the season we had with Joey, he needed to hear. So he did. He heard because there were those who were willing to press in, no matter what. Joey met Jesus through the amazing staff I am blessed to have, and Jesus met Joey in an amazing personal way that day, in broad daylight, because it was time. I believe.
Ecclesiastes 3:8 says there is "a time for love and time for hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Joey was in a battle, like most of the youth we are working with. He had experienced his share of hate and that is what drove him. God spoke and said this past year, it was Joey's time. Joey's time for love. That is what we do. We bring love. In a city where there is a terrible war, a war that is causing kids to kill kids, we pray for a time for peace. For Joey, that time is now. May he rest in peace.

treelot tradition

We sneaked in one night at the treelot this year! For the past 6 years we have worked at the YWAM Christmas treelot and I don't know if that sounds like alot of fun to you or not, but for Reid, this is a big deal! He looks forward to this every year. And I have to be honest so do I. It's something we do together and he loves it, and because he loves it, I love it! So with Krysta's surgery on the 7th of December this year on the east coast we didn't have alot of time to get everything ready to go...but one thing for sure, we had time to work a day at the treelot and here are the pics to prove it.





Reid is a really hard worker at the treelot and knows these are the best trees because they come from Oregon! So yeah, it was fun and we were glad to get our day in so the tradition lives on!


















Co-treelot worker Barry!

baby therapy at WRAMC

the other day at Walter Reed Army Medical Center (WRAMC) they were bringing around these great dogs to visit the patients..they call it "pet therapy". It helps the patients heal, calm down, etc. Nothing like a visit from a friendly, fun-loving, cute doggie to cheer you up..and it worked Krysta loved it. But I have to admit I found a better therapy for her...I call it "baby-therapy". Everyday I walk in the room and she forgets how much pain she is in for a few minutes as I place Emily high on her chest. Now that little cutie will take your mind off any little aches and pain...aaww now they're sleeping!

an overnite sensation!

here is a pic of edgar and alberto here at the ywam base hanging out with dts students...it was so much fun for them and really different! They learned how to play spoons and it was good...they were laughing so much!




i couldn't get them to go to sleep until late! Aaaaawww...I love our work! Keep praying for these two......

smells like rain...feels like life

I had a chance to go to Arizona a few weeks back. Some friends of mine invited me to hang out in thier home. It was empty and so I could be there all alone, just me and God. It was amazing, actually better than that. As I pulled into Phoenix, Az. There were thunder showers lighting up the sky and I rolled down my window and I smelled the rain. That very distinct smell only found in the desert just after the rain. I came alive, something inside me was so stirred. It was gratitude. I appreciate that I had a moment like that, so I cried. I guess I just remember so much of my life has passed me by that when I am reminded it's not passing me by anymore I feel so lucky. Don't you? There are so many things that I get to experience that make me come alive and I know in the busyness of life I can pass them by, but so often I am breathless at the life I have been given. Even in the midst of all the challenges he has set before me, I am alive to the very core of my being! Wow! I was at a hotel this weekend because I had to speak at a small church near the Mexico border. I asked God, why do I have to pay for this room? I can't afford this. But as I was drawn by him to the front desk the following morning to minister to a woman who told me she was "barely alive", I knew why I was there. You know what? She has the same amount of clean time from meth I have. There is such a huge difference in her outlook and mine. What is it? Jesus. Jesus. It is Jesus. I prayed with her, she looked up at me and tears were streaming down her face. Her name is Jaime, I shared with her, invited her to church, maybe she will go. She said she didn't feel comfortable. Too bad. We have life, when we have Jesus and things like the smell of rain can bring you to tears. I think of my thirst for God like the desert needing the rain...I pray I will always be as the psalmist says "as a deer pants for the water my soul longeth after you" .....thirsty and grateful he will give me a drink.

ok so here is my pic today and it is for no apparent reason...except that it's my birthday (or at least it will be tomorrow) and I like this shot. I think he's smiling or maybe he's laughing at me. He probably was, because I was talking to him and to be honest I thought for a fleeting moment we were connecting. or not.

Edgar's news...and Edgar 2

Edgar #1 - He was sentenced to 30 days in county for a dirty test...he tested positive for cocaine. He had been going "downhill" and I knew it. So now he has some time to think about his life and where he is once again headed.



Here is a pic of Edgar #2..a new release with lot's of promise, in fact the Judge was so impressed offered to seal his record and terminate his probation yesterday. He is really a neat kid...he is working on a display with us for our open house..




Also now we have Micah here for a while..mission building. He is out and remember he has 2 strikes. So he must stay close to God! No new charges or he will get 25 to life. This is a good place for him to start out.......

not so blue

So I blogged yesterday about Edgar and his broken contact for the past 4 weeks and guess what? He called. So counseling picks up again next week. Pray for him, he is on the edge as he shared with me last night on the phone. :(

one last game

Here is a cute pic of Reid's and some friends. He had a chance to go to one last Dodger game this year (thanks Ricky), they won that night. Too bad they are done for the season.


Ricky (amazing man of God and good friend, we love you ) and Dan ( super cool and new staff on the base) work with DTS on the YWAM Base and Aidan is a GOOD friend of Reid's! FUN TIMES!

blue

This is Edgar in the blue room. I miss going there. There has been no counseling for him in 4 weeks. How do I go from spending so much time pouring out of myself and seeing so much progress and growth to nothing? Faith. I keep it. You never know what's around the corner. So I'll pray and leave it up to God. Besides, it's not up to me anyways. I like my life, but I miss Edgar. So I thought I would share it ... with you. I hope this doesn't sound too sad, it's kind of a happy sad? make sense? I am a sower (of seeds, that is) and I know it :)

Soto, pt. 2?

So I posted a blog on Soto hearing the voice of God. The cool thing about that night was every week after that he would want to hear more. Soto (like all the guys at camp) needs miracles to happen in his life. He got released, to find there had been a drive by shooting at his house. It was by an enemy of his, sending a message to him. I went to see him and the bullet holes serve as a daily reminder that he is a target. Regardless of the fact that he had been away in jail, they had not forgotten him, nor his gang affiliation. But as I looked closer, they also reminded me of God's answers to prayer. Out of all those shots fired, not one of them caused harm. No one was hit. We had been praying for Soto and his family. He had been praying too. That was an answer to prayer in that this many shots were fired and no one was hit. So after a long talk with Soto at Del Taco, a soda pop and a reminder that God is still at work, he is smiling. He can hear God, now he can see God is working. Okay, that is very cool. He is looking for a job and this weekend will be going camping with us! He has so far to go, and really is just trying to stay alive. In this picture it actually doesn't look like that bad of a neighborhood, but looks can be deceiving. I see the blue skies behind him, not the bars surrounding all the homes in his hood. Now he is free from jail, but a prisoner in his own home. Is that any better? There is a man who works with gang members here in LA who when asked if he believed they deserved a second chance, he said "who gave them thier first". Many do not have a chance in the neighborhoods they grow up in. While this is a tough crowd, my passion increases.

layers :(

Last fall I was in DC with Krysta for her hip surgery and it was tough. I've said before that I have always hated the whole onion layer thing. Maybe that is putting it lightly. I mean really why does this have to happen in layers? Layers only really look good in terms of fashion, right? I know this is a sweet, amazing, irritating, annoying, character-building, beautiful process. Ooops, some of those words just jumped in there "accidently". But seriously, teaching the last few weeks at the Live Ride really helped me to appreciate the depths that God has taken me on this journey. So even though I am airing all my complaints, I really am happy and thankful for a HUGE difference. (really) We have a relationship now, and it is most definetly that of a mother and a daughter. Things have changed in my life and in my relationships, and day by day it is more evident. If only I could be more patient and see what God sees it would be easier. I mean the view from down here is so distorted. It helps to get a better perspective now and again to remind me I am on the right track. God gives me that and when he does, it's sweet.

Here is a cute picture of Krysta when we were hanging out together at one of our favorite spots, Panera Bread. (hence the better perspective)
Here is a pic of Krysta with Emily, as a brand new mom! And I got to be there to celebrate with her...WOW!

















Emily's first doctor appointment, and I was there for that too!












One more cute pic I had to post...aaawww.....so cute!

And then there were three...

She is here..and she is so pretty! Emily Nicole, born August 22, weighing 8 lbs 2 oz. Now I have three beautiful little grand-daughters! God is good.

Soto hears!

I was at Camp on Friday night, oh yeah, I'm back, from holiday(?) Anyway there I was sitting with this guy and we were talking about the reality of God and the Devil. Or at least I was talking and trying to get him to see things my way because I am, of course, right being on the side of truth and all. (don't you just love us evangelical Christians?) Anyways, what came to my mind was "my sheep hear my voice." I'm thinking yes, God would like me to give Soto an opportunity to hear His voice. A lesson. So I asked Soto to ask God if he loved him. After a moment he got silent and agreed. Soon, he broke out with a smile and a sparkle in his eye. (which for a hardened gang member is very cool to see) and said God spoke to him and told him, "Yes, he loved him." So we talked a little about that voice and possibility of another voice and by the end of our session he agreed. God speaks and the Devil is a liar. Yippee. So it's good to be back, how are you?

5th grade? It's over!

Reid finished fifth grade, now he's a sixth grader. He received awards for academic achievement again this year, including honor roll for maintaing 3.8 GPA all year long, so I am definitely proud of him. He fundraised for a trip to Valley Forge, Pennsylvannia, raising nearly $700 through his own hard work. This is Reid with is great teacher Mrs. A+. We both really liked her a lot! Way to go Reid, Mom's proud of you and your hard work! Now it's summertime! He is looking forward to camping and his favorite thing to do right now, fish!